Shawn, Ryan, and Lori discuss Chapter 4 of The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.  This is one of several books that CK Family Services recommends that all parents read, and it holds a special place with our show hosts.  We invite you to join us and read through the book alongside us this Summer.  Whether you are new to the book or have already read it through, we are confident that you’ll be glad you did.  If you need a copy of the book, please consider using the link above to purchase a copy via  Be sure to choose CK Family Services as your charity and Amazon will make a donation to support the work of our staff and volunteers each time you make a purchase.  Doing so will help support the show.

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The book describes two types of memory: explicit and implicit.  The differences and significance of these two types of memories can be hard to grasp.  The book describes implicit memories as those you don’t actively recall.  Implicit memories are your past experiences that influence your behavior in the present without any realization that your memory has even been triggered.  The example provided in the book is that when you “remember” how to change the diaper on a child, you don’t actively remember the steps.  Your brain triggers the memories from your past experiences that influence the actions you take in the present to accomplish the task.  Explicit memories are those you thoughtfully access, for example, if you were to pause while changing the diaper and recall the first time you learned to change a diaper.  Those thoughtfully recallable memories are explicit.

We typically mean explicit memory, when we discuss memories.  They are the memories we draw from when trying to pass a test, remember a work colleague’s name or when we are searching for our keys.  But it is important that we understand the role that implicit memories play in influencing our present-day actions.  Once we grasp the concepts ourselves, we can transfer them to our understanding of our children’s present behaviors and use them to inform our parenting strategies. To accomplish this, we need a few strategies to help us learn to integrate the implicit and the explicit.  Integration of these two types of memories can be like assembling a puzzle.  We (and our children) often wonder why we behave a certain way today; maybe we suffer from poor dietary choices or staying up too late.  When we connect with the implicit and turn them into explicit memories, we can name them and tame them.

The first strategy of Chapter 4 (the 6th strategy of the book) is Use the Remote of the Mind: Replaying Memories.  Many of our children become familiar with the way remote controls allow us to rewind, pause, play and fast-forward TV shows, movies, and music.  We can use the symbol of remote control and our children’s familiarity with its function to help them rewind and find implicit memories.

The second strategy of Chapter 4 (the 7th of the book) is Remember to Remember:  Making Recollection a Part of Your Family’s Daily Life.  The ability to recall memories is like many of our functions, the more you use it (or practice remembering) the better you will become at it.  By creating a culture within your family of recollecting memories from the past, you set the stage for empowering yourself and your children to become better rememberers and thereby pave the way for deeper and more insightful self-awareness.

Our next episode will focus on the strategies in chapter 5 of The Whole-Brain Child.  Thank you for downloading and joining with us in this study/discussion.  If you enjoy the content, please remember to help us grow-the-show by sharing a link to our podcast or its episodes with your friends and family.  Also, remember to subscribe and give us a positive review.  Doing so helps the podcast directories better understand who else might be interested in our discussions.

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