It is that time of year again – “school days, school days, good ol’ golden rule days.” That is a blast from the past that requires a few decades of living to appreciate. Rolling forward, I will share the song that my kids heard every year on the first day of school and begged me to stop singing. The song comes from the great philosopher Adam Sandler:
“Back to school, back to school, to prove to Dad, that I’m not a fool.
I’ve got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight,
I hope that I don’t get in a fight. Ohhhhhhh
Back to school…….”
Here we are after a couple months of vacations, cookouts, ballgames and chillin’ and it is once again time to set the alarm. We have one daughter who would wake up with a big smile every day ready to see what lay ahead with a sense of awe and anticipation. We had another that could sleep through a train whistle (I know that is true because we had an alarm that shook the bed and woke the dead and it had no effect.) Now, it is time for routines, rituals and habits that make life flow better. Why? Routines give us:
· Predictability. Knowing what is coming later is very nice when you are entering a new world that may offer the unknown. You know, “We always get an ice-cream cone after the first day of school!” Consistency of routine reduces anxiety so how about some stable bedtimes, meal times, and morning routines?
· Positivity. Waking up, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and packing bags, all with specific intent gets us prepared for the day and helps stop those panic situations when the bus is out front or mom is honking or “I forgot my gym shoes!”
· Academic success. Having structure, being calm, scheduling in school work, saying no to too much activity allows for personal growth.
· Stronger familial bonds. Rituals such as meal times, unrushed breakfast on Saturday, game nights, or Sunday worship can all lead to keeping the family strong August until May.
· Less stress. What is worse that the night before panic alarm: “Dad, I forgot to make my model of all the layers of planet earth and it is due tomorrow!” So, here we are at Hobby Lobby buying large Styrofoam balls and paint supplies while the other parent is googling how to do this assignment while lectures abound and temperatures rise. Being organic can stop the panic.
· Responsibility. When children set their own alarms, pack their own bags and make their own snacks, they learn to take care of themselves and gain confidence. This also allows them to take ownership. Hmmm, you may just have to sit out of gym today!
Now, after all that structure and planning, I must add some balance. If we are not careful, routine and ritual can become damaging. Look out for the following:
· Rigidity. Life is unpredictable. Often, one must be able to respond spontaneously in coping with unexpected changes or new opportunities. The inability to never break routine can lead to stress and anxiety.
· Boredom. I was a river tubing maniac as a kid. There was nothing better than going to the river and enjoying a ride with nothing to do but chill. The trip was even better after a rain. However, there were times when the river was low and I often came across stagnant stretches that required work and stole my peace. Too much routine and structure can be monotonous and prevent growth because we don’t tend to take risks and learn new skills in those environments.
· Routine can also become a problem if you don’t schedule in health and relationships. We need exercise, nutrition and sleep as well as time spent with those we love.
· With rigidity may also come a lack of creativity and innovation. So, have open thought and activities mixed in the schedule. Let’s have pizza!
So, what am I saying? School days are here so let’s get the routines and rituals kick-started. Let’s work on the schedule as families while we remember to build in flexibility, well-being, variety and balance. You know, this stuff might be good for a lot more than just school days.
“Back to school, back to school, to prove to Dad, that I’m not a fool.”
Blessings-
