A longtime foster parent and friend of CK Family Services, Dawna Guerin offers a glimpse into her home and her heart.
Dawna didn’t step into foster parenting confidently or eagerly. In fact, she did it against her better judgment. She felt the Lord calling her to foster, and after arguing with Him for nearly a year, she finally agreed to give it a try, but only under certain conditions. She gave God her list and told Him she would “do this for Him, but only for a year.” After all, she was a career woman with two grown children and had no plans to start over with young kids. As she reasoned, “I expected I would love any kids brought my way, but maybe a different kind of love than I have for my own kids, like how I love a nephew or a friend’s child.”
Dawna’s list of acceptable and unacceptable foster care scenarios was rooted in fear. She felt ill-equipped to raise young boys because she “threw like a girl,” so she decided she would only take girls. She knew how to shop, after all. She also said she would absolutely not take children who had been exposed to drugs because “drug drama sounded messy and scary.” And finally, she was terrified of doing African-American hair. She didn’t want to risk ruining a child’s hair, so she figured she would just avoid that situation altogether.
Then one day, everything changed.
God must have a sense of humor, because Dawna’s now-adopted children are everything she once told Him she wasn’t willing to do. About fifteen years ago, her CKFS case manager brought her a 4-day-old baby boy who had been exposed to meth. The very next day, his 18-month-old sister arrived. She had been exposed to both meth and cocaine. Dawna heard herself saying “yes” to these kids. Though she was scared and completely out of her element, something inside her simply said yes. She has learned after many years of fighting through the unknowns, that if she didn’t say yes until she felt comfortable, she would never say yes.
The first few days with the babies brought countless challenges, sleepless nights for all three of them, a flood of new acronyms to learn (ECI, CASA, ad litems), and frequent visitors in her home to observe and diagnose. It was a whole new world.
And then there was the hair.
This sweet African-American baby girl needed a bath. Dawna bathed her, took out her ponytails, washed her hair, and put her to bed, unaware that there was anything special she needed to do. But when she woke up the next morning, "the hair was bigger than the baby!” Dawna laughs as she remembers the feeling of horror thinking she had broken the baby! God provided a way through this new situation in the form of a caring hair stylist at the Walmart salon who marched Dawna through the store to the appropriate section and taught her the basic techniques and products needed for black hair. And just like that, a fear was conquered.
Today, Xavier and Reese are 15 and 16 years old and are doing amazingly well.
Dawna shares, “The unknowns and the fears never go away. You just adjust to them. Every kid is different, and every day is different.” She encourages others to learn their boundaries so they know when they can safely say yes, understanding that uncertainty is always part of the journey. She also stresses the importance of support. Dawna regularly leans on a group of fellow foster moms and her CKFS case manager, people she can turn to when new situations arise. She believes that because God called her to this work, He would not leave her alone in the hard parts. “I would’ve missed out on these kids and all of the blessings and joy if I had said no.”
When Dawna first considered foster parenting, she faced discouragement, even from people who loved her. Well-intended advice was often negative. Her brother once warned her against taking in “bad kids.” But Dawna didn’t let that stop her. “They aren’t bad kids,” she says. “There’s not a foster child who is there because of their own choices. They’re there because of the choices their parents made.” Today, her brother is one of her biggest supporters and has told her he’s never been more proud of her for following her heart and following the Lord.
Now, Dawna’s home is open to children ages 0 through 17, boys and girls alike. Over time, she has found a special rhythm with teenage girls and pregnant moms, where she feels her impact is multiplied by teaching young women how to become good mothers. “They obviously didn’t have strong role models, or they wouldn’t be in care,” she explains. “So I get excited to teach them and help break that cycle.” Many of these young women are still in contact with “Honey,” as they lovingly call her. Dawna made sure each child memorized her phone number so they could reach out anytime. In her backyard, she also keeps a rock garden with a painted stone representing every child who has passed through her home.
Dawna’s story reminds us not to let fear hold us back. Time and again, she has seen the Lord provide exactly what she needed for each new challenge. She leaves others with this encouragement: “Foster parenting is hard. But the hardest things are often the biggest blessings. It’s the hardest, best yes you’ll ever make.”