I absolutely loved back-to-school time when my kids were growing up. Yes, I am a weird dad, and I enjoyed going clothes shopping and supply gathering. What could be better than helping them find the perfect first-day ensemble by throwing outfit after outfit over the dressing room door of Old Navy? I had my own collection of OPI nail colors, complete with bottom coats and topcoats (as a daddy of four girls, I had to find a way to save money). The night before, all the kids would try on their new threads, I would do the girls' nails—color-matched with polka dots, stripes, or whatever they wanted. The boy would dress as nonchalantly as possible in Nike socks and shoes and basketball shorts. They would all determine how they wanted their hair, and that's where the boy got picky. We would have a favorite family meal around the table, discussing what they were looking forward to or dreading, and then we would battle to get them to bed.
The next morning, I would enter each room playing reveille on my mouth trumpet while they groaned their disapproval. My wife would have the first-day-of-school breakfast laid out with their individual preferences, and off we would go. On the way to school, one of my favorite games was, “Where are we going today?” They would pick a spot anywhere in the world, and I would be the captain flying there. They might say, “Jamaica,” and I would become the captain on the microphone, complete with static and gaps:
“Hello, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. As we begin our descent into Montego Bay, please keep your seatbelts fastened, raise your trays, and put your seats in their upright positions. We hope you will enjoy the beautiful island of Jamaica. Most of you will not stay in Montego Bay, so we hope you enjoy Dunn's River Falls—please don’t fall off the rocks. You may raft down the river at Port Antonio. Don’t forget to have some jerk chicken and pork, or even goat, but remember to tell them you don’t want any organs. Have a little Blue Mountain coffee each morning and enjoy some delicious plantains. Be careful when you deplane, and we look forward to seeing you again. Thank you for flying with us because we know you have a choice when you fly.”
They giggled and laughed every day, thinking their dad knew everything about everywhere—not knowing I was making most of it up.
So, what can you “gift” your children with as school fires back up?
Pray with them every day.
Get them a consistent sleep schedule, remembering kids need at least 8 hours of rest each day—and likely closer to 10. Too many students are sleep-deprived.
Build predictable morning routines. Keep a schedule and stay positive. Starting with stress guarantees a bad day. Allow plenty of time for toothbrushing, breakfast, packing, and going over “gotta take with me” lists.
Have a nightly routine over supper or before bed called “high/low,” or as my kids labeled it, “happy/crappy.” Go over the best and worst parts of their day. LISTEN to them and do not OC—over coach.
Have dedicated homework time and space. Create a distraction-free zone.
Restructure screen time, game time, chores, and homework. Kids thrive with clear expectations and boundaries.
Offer lots of encouragement and praise. Focus on effort, not outcome. Praise qualities like kindness, responsibility, and perseverance. Never compare your kid to others. Remember—likely, they will not be professional athletes, actors, dancers, or academicians, but they will all become adults.
Keep them eating well and hydrated.
Show up! Know their teacher and attend their functions. Be a team with their school, not an antagonist.
Do walk-throughs. Practice the backpack. Work on combination locks. Visit the school. Do “meet the teacher” night. Talk through concerns.
BUILD IN DOWNTIME. Kids need to be kids. Not all moments have to be productive in your eyes to matter. You need to decompress, and so do they.
My oldest is 41 years old, the next is about to be 38, my boy is 26, my 23-year-old is having a baby, and the child of my old age is getting close to finishing college. I would love to be a pilot one more time.
Blessings-
Eric
