The Power of Presence Over Perfection
The holiday season tends to come with high expectations, from perfect decorations, elaborate meals, endless activities, to gifts that somehow wrap up all our love and care into one shiny bow. But for many families, especially those navigating financial strain, foster care, mental health challenges, or a wide variety of other struggles, the season isn’t quite that simple.
We mostly live in the messy middle. The point where joy and chaos often hold hands, where comfort is found in small moments, and where presence means more than perfection ever could.
Presence > Presents
When children look back on the holidays, what they remember most won’t be how many gifts were under the tree. Do you remember what gifts you received every year in the past? Certainly not. What lasts is how we feel, the warmth of our gatherings, the times we truly connected with loved ones. Did someone listen? Was there laughter? Did each person feel safe, seen, and loved?
The most powerful gift we can offer, especially to children who’ve experienced instability or trauma, is our presence. Not just being in the same room, but truly showing up emotionally and attentively, with phones down, eyes up, and intentional time that shows value for each person there.
Comfort in the Small Things
Comfort doesn’t require extravagance. It can be found in shared routines: lighting a candle together each evening, reading one holiday story a night, making hot cocoa just because. These small rituals build predictability and trust, especially for kids who are still learning what safety and love look like.
Let go of the pressure to create “Instagram-worthy” moments. The quiet, imperfect, real-life memories are often the most meaningful. Sitting on the floor to build a puzzle, singing along to silly Christmas music, trying to recite 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, creating paper snowflakes, decorating cookies, or handmaking gifts for each other will be the real memories made this season.
Joy in Connection
Want to make the holidays truly joyful? Try less doing and a little more being.
Set aside 15 screen-free minutes a day for intentional conversation (prompt cards, joke books, or “highs and lows” can help start the chat). Take a slow walk together and let your child set the pace and topic. Or jump in the car and admire the lights throughout the neighborhood. Take time to ask each child, “What’s one thing you really want to do together this week?” In these moments, kids learn they matter. And that’s where joy begins.
As you move through this season, we hope you’ll give yourself permission to let go of perfection and embrace presence. Comfort and joy don’t come from checking all the boxes but from meaningful connection, compassion, and the courage to love well in the middle of the mess. After all, isn’t this season truly about a Savior who came to earth in a humble stable to bring light to a weary world? It’s about spreading His light, not chasing the hustle and bustle it’s become.
From all of us at CK Family Services, may your holidays be filled with warmth, peace, and the kind of joy that lingers.
